Saturday morning. Up with children at six. Instant enrolment in NASA space programme via large cardboard box and craft knife. Toby's demand that space ship thus created should contain 'real fire' supported by his provision of large box of Bryant and May's extra-long matches, kept securely locked in medicine drawer and last used by Stephen. Energy-draining repression of urge to burn Stephen at stake aided by imagining that Toby's screams upon confiscation of said matches are, in fact, those of Stephen attached to said stake. Astronaut-worthy breakfast (dried in packets; senior astronaut sceptical about fresh milk but persuaded by anecdotal evidence of existence of cow on moon. Cow jumped over moon and liked view so much, she jumped onto moon and stayed.) Space exploration halted for purpose of painting rocket red. Sound of rocket launching provided by ancient boiler complaining about excessive hot water demand. Realise that Stephen has woken up and is indulging himself in hot bath.
Unrepress all urges to burn Stephen at stake. Offer Toby and Beatrice the chance to have bonfire in garden. T & B dance with delight.
That's the noise my boiler makes! Although not ancient.
ReplyDelete