Four hours later

Four hours. I left Stephen in charge for four hours. I didn't even leave him with the responsibility of doing any meals. This is what I found:

• A full tub of ice cream melting on the kitchen floor
• Two permanent black marker pens with their lids off; whereabouts of lids unknown.
• Four eggs, cracked, floating in the toilet; shells thereof in fragments on the floor
• Toby's new rocket pyjamas lying shredded next to an abandoned pair of dressmaking scissors.
• Toby, Beatrice and Stephen asleep on the living room sofa with Monsters Inc. playing on the DVD.

I'm leaving. I don't care who is or isn't pregnant. As long as it's not me.